thoughts on hope...

" We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers." 2 Cor. 1: 8-11

When my son's illness took his life; During my father's long captivity; While my little girl lay comatose; In a life layered with sorrows; As I see my heart's disability in loving well...


In the apostles familial letter, I discover understanding for the depths. His words are not "should feel or shouldn't feel" reprimands. They were written for my heart, in my weakness --that I might know Christ and His hope. And the more I know Him, the more I do trust Him. I set my hope on Him again and again.

With redundancy I have heard it spoken that God does not allow more than we can handle. Offered as encouragement and sometimes as an exhortation to cheer up, I do not believe this spiritual cliche is helpful or even true. Quite the contrary. God often allows more suffering than we can bear alone. He allows us to feel the sentence of death, to despair even of life. To be broken, that He might bind, to be devastated that He may alone be the source of life. By removing my soul crutches, He allows me to see that I cannot stand on my own. I need Him desperately. This is His severe mercy. In my sorrow and loss, because of my very inadequacy and fragility, I hear Him, "My power is made perfect in your weakness". Right here, in the dark -- a resurrection I can't wrap words around.

Ultimately, it is through Him that I am even able to set my hope on Him. He is my Brother, my Friend...the beautiful Lifter of my head.